One night I was studying at the library at the college I was attending. I remember my roommate, once she found me, telling me to come outside because she had to talk to me.
We went outside, and I could see the distress on her face as she struggled to tell me, what would be one of the first big moments of impact on my life, that my dad was in the hospital in a coma, and I had to go there right away.
I remember that it felt like time stood still. I felt all the color of my life drain out of me and all around me – life felt black and white – lifeless for the first time ever for me.
My roommate, who I’ve known since first grade, drove me to the hospital. It was a long 2 1/2 hour, mostly silent ride, as I contemplated what I would see when I got to the hospital.
I walked into the hospital where one of my sisters was waiting for me. I asked her how he was doing. She said, not good.
So we solemnly made our way up to the floor where my dad was.
That night and next day was the longest 24 hours of my life.
My family and I pacing around, popping in and out of my dad’s room, trying to find out answers from the doctor.
And then it came time for me to say good-bye. My mom walked with me into the room, and I kissed my dad on the cheek for the very last time, and said good-bye.
My brother, and his wife at the time, stayed with my dad until he took his last breath. I know that was so hard for them, but I am so grateful that they did.
That moment of impact was an event that changed my life forever – and I was never the same person after that.
Then 7 years and 2 big life events later, (graduating college & getting married – the two things my dad always told me he couldn’t wait to be a part of), I experienced my next big moment of impact – my first life-altering panic attack. It hit me like a raging tsunami.
Life, once again, was never the same.
That first panic attack happened to me in the spring of 1994 and is what catapulted me onto a long healing journey.
And now I’m here, on the other side of anxiety. On a side that is filled with more peace and freedom than I have ever experienced in my life.
Anxiety has been a huge gift and blessing in my life – something I thought I could never say – especially when I was in the deep dark trenches of its grip, way deep down in the dark layers of the mud. But now that’s how I feel.
And I also have a huge amount of gratitude for my dad for the huge gift of awakening that he has given to me.
Let me share some fun (maybe even weird – I like being weird!) stuff about me:!
I drool over love notepads and pens, art supplies, journals, books, (I think I’m a little addicted to those things)
I’m a tea girl – mainly drink herbal concoctions & jasmine green tea. I drink coffee as an occasional treat – especially when I head to the beach and pass The Rook on the way.
If you tell me a secret, do I keep it? Heck yeah – you can count on me – my lips are sealed! (Integrity is high on my values list)
Lots of books, notepads, journals, pens (didn’t I tell you!), a buddha, ganesha, lots of crystals, a mini gong, yoga mat, meditation cushion, essential oils, desk, peace sign, Om sign, feathers, medicine wheel, an assortment of dream catchers, sun-catchers, zen lamps, lotus rug, tuning forks, hand chimes, singing bowl, wooden native flute, native drum, a Hapi drum (ok, maybe I’m addicted to sound healing too!), lotus candle holder, chakra flags, chimes and some mementos I love.
Yes. Dig Native? Yes. I’m kind of a mix…….you can call me a beach-lovin’ Native Zen Creative :)
What's my dosha?
Early walk at the beach then sitting quietly listening to the ocean and then journaling, walk with my pup & hubby, dance, practice yoga, do a little native-flute playing & drumming, read, create on computer, sit outside, run around with the pup, guide crusaders to create some serious, and totally awesome, shifts, eat good, healthy food, chat with mom, take a ride with hubby, create more on computer, read more, watch a good show or movie, then sink cozily into bed while listening to a guided meditation or relaxing music or sometimes the rustling of the trees outside……..ahhh, great day!
I hit a little mini gong and singing bowl that are on my bookshelf every morning when I wake up & every night before I go to bed……..yay for sound healing vibrations!
Yes…..I don’t like shower drains…….my feet have never touched one and if I can help it, they never will! lol
The Notebook, The Vow, Remember the Titans, The Last Samurai, August Rush, Dances with Wolves, The Ugly Truth, Field of Dreams, Shawshank Redemption, The Intouchables, Regarding Henry – I’m sure there’s more….I LOVE movies…..especially those that are true stories……..and those that have deep messages.
For any sentient being who is suffering in any way, shape or form.
Any compassionate act toward another being. Animals who need help. Seriously, that’s why I donate part of my earnings to organizations that are doing amazing work for amazing causes. And I hope to help more & more.
I graduated from The University of Delaware with a B.S. degree in Fashion Merchandising. I worked in that industry for 3 years and then went to school at The Learning Institute of the Beauty Sciences and graduated as a Licensed Cosmetologist. I worked as a hairstylist for 20 years, with the last 7 of those years as a salon owner. I have also studied some holistic therapies which lead me to become a Certified Reflexologist, Aromatherapy Consultant, Reiki Level 3 Practitioner and Acutonics Level 2 Practitioner. I am also a Certified Professional Coach, and RYT 500-hr Certified Yoga Teacher through YogaWorks.
Then join me at the Inner Peace Hut where you can gain access to some of the de-mudifying resources I created.